What a fucking waste of an outfit
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
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professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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