Dual....:-)
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize