genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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