Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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