I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Its about making memories worth repressing
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize