Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize