I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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