yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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