i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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