No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize