A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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