Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize