11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize