guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
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is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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