im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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