This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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