i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just gift wrapped bread.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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