i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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