Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize