I cut my penus on the lid.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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