phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize