D3 body, D1 cock
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
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antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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