i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize