So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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