By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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