So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize