Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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