So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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