No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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