I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
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After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize