I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize