It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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