I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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