Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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