Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize