fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize