Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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