you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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