Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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