what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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