So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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