If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
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I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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