dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The maid of honor just puked.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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