FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
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He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
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I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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