i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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