Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I cockslap morals
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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