you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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