drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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