quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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