We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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